Wednesday, August 17, 2011

How do you think of my vampire story?

You have some spelling errors, so you need to fix that and your doing a lot of telling and not showing. for instance in the beginning you talk about how swift got his name and such, But show us that moment don't tell it to us. meaning take us to that moment when Swift gets his name, create that moment in the story. For 13 I think this is good and I think your ready to advance to the next level of story telling and that would be the aforementioned showing. Good Luck and have fun doing it.

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